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November 1, 2009 There are four strategies you can use to find a new product or service to start or build your own business. LOOK IN YOUR OWN FIELD The first strategy is to find a new product or service in your own field or skills. You may have a million dollar idea in your own mind. Many people have had the experience of having an idea for a product or service nag at them over and over again, and you keep pushing it away or ignoring it. They say the average person has four ideas each year driving to and from work, any one of which would make them a millionaire if they would just follow it up. So look into your own field or skills. Look into your own mind. Look into your own ideas. LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITIES WHEN YOU TRAVEL The second strategy is to find a new product or service while you travel. Keep your eyes open for opportunities. A very good friend of mine who is now a multi-millionaire, started his fortune by traveling east and seeing a unique type of orange drink called Orange Julius and then getting the exclusive rights to sell it in a large Western city. From there, he expanded into other restaurants, into real estate, and into apartments. He developed a high positive cash flow from his Orange Julius business that made him a millionaire. Sometimes just finding a new product or service that is doing well somewhere else that hasn't come to your market area can make you wealthy. GET THE RIGHTS TO SELL IT Remember your objective, when you find a new product or service, is to acquire the rights to sell the product or service exclusively in your market area. Sometimes these rights are available for the asking. A gentleman I know named Peter Thomas got the rights for Century 21 to Canada simply by going to the offices and asking for them when Century 21 was a young company. From that, he turned Century 21 into one of the most successful real estate franchises in Canada. He is now worth millions of dollars, having taken the cash flow from Century 21 and channeled it into other real estate investments. BE SURE IT IS ALREADY SUCCESSFUL Sometimes just asking for the right to sell it in your market area is all you have to do. Here's the key, though. Before you bring a new product or service back to your market area, be absolutely sure that it sells well somewhere else. Many people advertise products outside their market area because they are not selling inside their market area, so make very sure that the product is selling well already in other markets. DEVELOP A MONEY MAKING ATTITUDE Strategy number three is to keep your eyes and ears open and alert to new business opportunities occurring around you. Develop a money-making attitude. A friend of mine became very successful by building commercial property across the street from a new shopping center that was being developed. The traffic from the shopping center made that commercial space extremely valuable. He opened two businesses in it, and started his fortune. So be alert to what is going on around you. BE SURE YOU LIKE IT YOURSELF And strategy number four is this. Remember you will only be successful marketing and selling something that you believe in, use yourself and would recommend to your best friend. Many times, I see people who make the critical mistake of trying to sell a product or service that they themselves would neither use nor afford, nor would they recommend to someone else, but they think that other people will buy it even though they wouldn't. So remember you must really, really believe it the product. You must be excited about the product. You must absolutely believe that this product can enhance the life or work of someone else and then be eager to tell them about it. ACTION EXERCISES First, develop a new business mentality. Continually look around you for new products and services that people need, want and are willing to pay for. Second, develop a money making attitude. Look around you for opportunities to sell products or services that are not currently being offered, at either higher prices or in greater quantities. The possibilities are everywhere. -- Brian Tracy November 2, 2009 One of the best pieces of business advice I ever got was "You can't do a good deal with a bad partner." Having had many partners over the years, I can say that this statement holds true. So I thought I'd offer some personal experiences I've had with partners both good and bad. All Play and No Pay In fact, after first meeting him and his business partner, a Wall Street whiz kid, and looking at some photos of a property they were interested in and an architect's rendition of what it would look like upon completion, I was sold. I became their money partner. So far I've done three deals with this pair, and to date, we haven't made a dime. The numbers still look neat and tidy every quarter, just the way a CPA should present the financials. The problem is in execution: The projects never finish on time or on budget. Something always goes wrong, and there's always some kind of drama -- problems with environmentalists, city planners, or banks. Finally, after years of squabbling, his partner (the whiz kid) left the relationship. The projects of theirs that I invested in are still operating, but to date I haven't made any money on them. A Complementary Relationship • We share the same investment philosophy. • His expertise makes up for gaps in mine. • We adhere to the same strategy. A Near-Infinite Return With the higher appraisal, we refinanced the property with a new loan at a better interest rate, and were able to take out $4 million tax-free. The money is tax-free because it's a loan, not profit. The debt service -- the monthly mortgage payment -- is paid for by the tenants. With this investment strategy, our ROI is practically infinite. We have no money in the investment, yet we collect a monthly cash flow and still have control over the property. To me, this is better than buying a property, selling it, and having to pay taxes on our gains -- or be in a rush to buy a new property just to avoid capital gains taxes via a 1031 tax-deferred exchange. (A 1031 tax-deferred exchange gives sellers a certain number of days to move money from a sale into another property and defer paying taxes on the gains. The process is more complicated than it sounds, which is why I strongly recommend using an exchange agent to guide and assist you in the process. Most real estate brokers can recommend an exchange agent if you live in the United States; other countries have different rules.) Lip Service My rich dad often said to me, "You need to be a good partner if you want to find a good partner." Obviously, this is as true in business as it is in love. In my opinion, the best way to begin is by looking in the mirror and asking yourself, "What do I bring to the table? Am I the kind of person I would want to do business with?" It's important to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses honestly. One of the reasons Ken, Ross, Kim and I do so well together is because we all love real estate; we complement each other in terms of our individual strengths and weakness; and we're all adept at raising money. We make a good team because there's synergy between us, and synergy is money. A Way Out That brings me to my next point: All partnerships should have an exit strategy. My partner Donald Trump says that married couples should always have a prenuptial agreement. True, a prenuptial is important if one partner is much richer than the other before marriage, but Kim and I don't have one. Instead, we have our own corporations that we control independently. Still, Donald is right: The best time to think of an exit strategy is before becoming partners -- that is, after you've kissed a few frogs and have found your ideal business companion. But remember: They sometimes turn back into frogs, and you can't do a good deal with a frog. -- Robert Kiyosaki November 3, 2009 “A Person is the causer (though nearly always unconsciously) of his circumstances, and that, whilst aiming at the good end, he is continually frustrating its accomplishment by encouraging thoughts and desires which cannot possibly harmonize with that end.” —As a Man Thinketh One of the examples James Allen uses to support this philosophy is a rich man who is the victim of a painful and persistent disease as the result of gluttony. He’s willing to give large sums of money to get rid of the disease and he fully expects that will be the cure. Unfortunately, he never addresses the gluttonous desire that is the cause of his condition. He can never achieve good health because his desires are not in harmony with the good health he seeks, regardless of the money he spends. Wow, did I relate to the rich man. Not because of his money, but because of his attitude. There’s been so many times in my life that I said I wanted to get rid of negative circumstances, all the while I’m engaging in the actions (brought on by my thoughts) that could never possibly harmonize with the results I said I wanted. Once I remember a big commitment and resolution on my part to spend more time with my family. I optimistically laid out a calendar of activities we would do together and got very excited about the “new me.” The way I had it figured, I’d probably be “father of the year.” Well, I’m glad they didn’t publish the results of the “competition” that year, I’m sure I would have finished dead last. You see, despite my “aiming at the good end,” I hadn’t changed the thought patterns that had plagued me for years. Any type of crisis in my business was a justifiable reason for me to work late or to go in on the weekends. While my mouth said that my family was more important, my actions (and thoughts) said otherwise. James Allen wants us to understand that we cannot change our circumstances without first changing our thoughts to harmonize with the circumstances we want. To think otherwise is just as foolish as the gluttonous rich man. One of my great enlightenments came from Wayne Dyer’s You’ll See It When You Believe It. He wrote, “Work each day on your thoughts rather than concentrating on your behavior. It is your thinking that creates the feelings you have and ultimately your actions as well.” And that’s worth thinking about. —Vic Johnson November 4, 2009 The first thing that an aspiring leader must realize is that they must be inspiring! That is, they must be capable of inspiring people on to greater things than if the leader were not in their lives. So, is this too grandiose an ideal for the average local business owner? Absolutely not. The people who work at your business, school or organization need to be inspired by you on a regular basis. It is what keeps them from giving up. Remind them of the big picture. They aren’t just serving food; they are helping families spend time together, so make it enjoyable. They aren’t just changing oil; they are helping make sure a woman and her children don’t break down on the side of the road at night. They aren’t just teaching reading; they are helping open a mind to the mysteries of the world. They aren’t just selling gifts; they are helping people show their appreciation to others in a tangible way. This week: INSPIRE! —Chris Widener November 5, 2009 All of these surface fears fall into two categories, which are the core fears: Fear of Failure and Fear of Success. If you experience fear of commitment, responsibility, growing up, or change, your core fear is the fear of success. If most of your anxiety comes from fear of rejection, confrontation, or not measuring up, your core fear is the fear of failure. Let’s talk today about the fear of failure. The fear of failing is more common to the person who experiences anxiety from confrontation, rejection, or a feeling of not measuring up (the perfectionist). Your fear of failure has held you back. I see it in the new consultant who will not give a class or an opportunity meeting until they can be sure it will be perfect. So they read and reread their training manual to exhaustion. The reality is there is no better training than real-world, in-the-trenches experience! Failure is part of your journey of success. Psychologists tell us that if a child has not had a serious fall within the first year of life, they are being too closely guarded (smothered). It’s the same with your life. Is your life too closely guarded? Are you being smothered in safety? Do you allow yourself to risk? Give yourself permission to make a big mistake! Every successful life is sprinkled with failure. It means you’re growing! Failure is a part of success. When you change your beliefs about failure—and what it’s about—you’ll silence your fears. Failures are stepping stones taking you closer to success. Give yourself permission to risk, try something new, make a mistake, and live a bold, imaginative, daring life! —Lisa Jimenez, M. Ed. November 6, 2009 The worst beliefs you can have are “self-limiting beliefs.” These exist whenever you believe yourself to be limited in some way. For example, you may think yourself to be less talented or capable than others. You may think that others are superior to you in some way. You may have fallen into the common trap of selling yourself short and settling for far less than you are truly capable of. These self-limiting beliefs act like brakes on your potential. They hold you back. They generate the two greatest enemies of personal success—doubt and fear. They paralyze you and cause you to hesitate to take the intelligent risks that are necessary for you to fulfill your true potential. For you to progress, to move onward and upward in your life and your business, you must continually challenge your self-limiting beliefs. You must reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. You must accept as a basic principle that you are a “no-limit” person, and that what others have done, you can do as well. When I was a young man, coming from a difficult upbringing, I fell into the mental trap of concluding that because other people were doing better than I was, they must be better or smarter than I was. I accidentally concluded that they were worth more than I was. I must therefore be worth less. This false belief held me back for years. The fact is that no one is better than you are and no one is smarter than you are. If they are doing better, it is largely because they have developed their natural talents and abilities more than you have. They have learned the laws of cause and effect that apply to their lives and work before you have. And anything anyone else has done, within reason, you can probably do as well. You just need to learn how. November 7, 2009 (Excerpted from 22 Success Lessons from Baseball) Bobby Thigpen spent most of his career with the Chicago White Sox and had a good baseball career. However, I am sure that it’s a little known fact that he also fancied himself as somewhat of a poet. That’s right... a poet. The man to whom the White Sox turned in the ninth to mow down batters could have been the next Robert Frost. Actually, that may be an exaggeration. His poetry most likely would not have received an “A” in any junior high English class. Thigpen, after his first full year in the Major Leagues, posted a 7 and 5 record with 16 saves and an ERA of 2.70. But, he did sense that the possibility of not being signed was real. He sent this short poem to White Sox chairman Jerry Reinsdorf: As I sit at home this off-season, Reinsdorf could roll with the punches and promptly responded with some rhymes of his own. I hope you are a really good pitcher, At this point it was getting fun. And Thigpen couldn’t resist but to respond with more poetry of his own. Thigpen sent this gem to his fellow poet: It is true that my potential as a poet is very small, Thigpen didn’t get his salary doubled like he wanted. But, he did get signed and had a nice career. Someone once said that, “Life is too serious to be taken seriously.” Thigpen is a man who had an unconventional and fun approach to a very serious issue, such as his salary. How often in business and life do you make a serious situation only more serious by being unnecessarily stoic. If we can learn any lesson from Thigpen, it would be to lighten up and have some fun. —Ron White November 8, 2009 Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event. We do not fail overnight. Failure is the inevitable result of an accumulation of poor thinking and poor choices. To put it more simply, failure is nothing more than a few errors in judgment repeated every day. Now why would someone make an error in judgment and then be so foolish as to repeat it every day? The answer is because he or she does not think that it matters. On their own, our daily acts do not seem that important. A minor oversight, a poor decision, or a wasted hour generally doesn’t result in an instant and measurable impact. More often than not, we escape from any immediate consequences of our deeds. If we have not bothered to read a single book in the past ninety days, this lack of discipline does not seem to have any immediate impact on our lives. And since nothing drastic happened to us after the first ninety days, we repeat this error in judgment for another ninety days, and on and on it goes. Why? Because it doesn’t seem to matter. And herein lies the great danger. Far worse than not reading the books is not even realizing that it matters! Those who eat too many of the wrong foods are contributing to a future health problem, but the joy of the moment overshadows the consequence of the future. It does not seem to matter. Those who smoke too much or drink too much go on making these poor choices year after year after year... because it doesn’t seem to matter. But the pain and regret of these errors in judgment have only been delayed for a future time. Consequences are seldom instant; instead, they accumulate until the inevitable day of reckoning finally arrives and the price must be paid for our poor choices—choices that didn’t seem to matter. Failure’s most dangerous attribute is its subtlety. In the short term those little errors don’t seem to make any difference. We do not seem to be failing. In fact, sometimes these accumulated errors in judgment occur throughout a period of great joy and prosperity in our lives. Since nothing terrible happens to us, since there are no instant consequences to capture our attention, we simply drift from one day to the next, repeating the errors, thinking the wrong thoughts, listening to the wrong voices and making the wrong choices. The sky did not fall in on us yesterday; therefore the act was probably harmless. Since it seemed to have no measurable consequence, it is probably safe to repeat. But we must become better educated than that! If at the end of the day when we made our first error in judgment the sky had fallen in on us, we undoubtedly would have taken immediate steps to ensure that the act would never be repeated. Like the child who places his hand on a hot burner despite his parents’ warnings, we would have had an instantaneous experience accompanying our error in judgment. Unfortunately, failure does not shout out its warnings as our parents once did. This is why it is imperative to refine our philosophy in order to be able to make better choices. With a powerful, personal philosophy guiding our every step, we become more aware of our errors in judgment and more aware that each error really does matter. Now here is the great news. Just like the formula for failure, the formula for success is easy to follow: It’s a few simple disciplines practiced every day. Now here is an interesting question worth pondering: How can we change the errors in the formula for failure into the disciplines required in the formula for success? The answer is by making the future an important part of our current philosophy. Both success and failure involve future consequences, namely the inevitable rewards or unavoidable regrets resulting from past activities. If this is true, why don’t more people take time to ponder the future? The answer is simple: They are so caught up in the current moment that it doesn’t seem to matter. The problems and the rewards of today are so absorbing to some human beings that they never pause long enough to think about tomorrow. But what if we did develop a new discipline to take just a few minutes every day to look a little further down the road? We would then be able to foresee the impending consequences of our current conduct. Armed with that valuable information, we would be able to take the necessary action to change our errors into new success-oriented disciplines. In other words, by disciplining ourselves to see the future in advance, we would be able to change our thinking, amend our errors and develop new habits to replace the old. One of the exciting things about the formula for success—a few simple disciplines practiced every day—is that the results are almost immediate. As we voluntarily change daily errors into daily disciplines, we experience positive results in a very short period of time. When we change our diet, our health improves noticeably in just a few weeks. When we start exercising, we feel a new vitality almost immediately. When we begin reading, we experience a growing awareness and a new level of self-confidence. Whatever new discipline we begin to practice daily will produce exciting results that will drive us to become even better at developing new disciplines. The real magic of new disciplines is that they will cause us to amend our thinking. If we were to start today to read the books, keep a journal, attend the classes, listen more and observe more, then today would be the first day of a new life leading to a better future. If we were to start today to try harder, and in every way make a conscious and consistent effort to change subtle and deadly errors into constructive and rewarding disciplines, we would never again settle for a life of existence, once we had tasted the fruits of a life of substance! To Your Success, November 9, 2009 So much within competitive sports can apply to the grander picture of our lives. All we need to do is transfer the lessons learned. A client of mine, Mike Buckley, is one of the most skilled hockey goalies in the world. Mike’s coach consistently produces top draft picks for the National Hockey League (NHL). Every year since college, Mike has ranked in the upper percentile in skills competitions. With these amazing abilities, why hasn’t Mike yet made it into the NHL? Like so many of us, Mike’s challenge was in applying his focus on the right thing at the right time so that he could allow his skills to come out and live successfully. Working with a personal coach, Mike discovered his strength was also his weakness. According to Rob Day of PuckStoppers, his goaltending coach, Mike has the ability to examine his performance during practice and make corrections and adjustments that are amazingly effective—possibly the best Rob has seen. During game time, however, Mike would react to the pressure by constantly examining himself. This inappropriate, self-conscious, self-doubt distracted him from experiencing the moment and allowing him to perform authentically. We’ve all heard the saying, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Yet, how do we go about our daily lives, experiencing the full benefit of living in the moment if we are preoccupied with self-conscious examination? Have you ever found yourself in a sort of whirlwind of self-examination and doubt? How does it feel? People say it can feel disempowering, with seemingly no end in sight. We are all susceptible to it. Often, we find escape routes to hide from our own examination. Sometimes these escapes are overtly destructive (drugs and alcohol abuse), and other times, we bury ourselves in work, exercise or volunteer aid, fooling ourselves that this is a healthy place to hide. Purposeful, objective observations and relevant questions delivered in trust and confidence set us up to win consistently. Scheduling an hour every week with a no-holds-barred friend or committing to an effective personal coach elevates our self-awareness and can increase both our performance and self-acceptance. And this focused time, dedicated to self-examination, removes the need for such introspection during real-life situations where our attention is needed elsewhere. We then allow ourselves to experience life while it happens! Now we elevate our confidence higher still, confident that we are free to enjoy the moment because we know there is a time for examination. Mike ultimately learned to leave his self-examination off the ice and trust in his skills. Mike played in “high-caliber” leagues in which single-man defenses allowing 15 goals per game is considered acceptable. Fifteen goals? How about none? Mike went on to lead his team to the league championship while experiencing more fun and confidence than he’d ever had on the ice! How could my friend’s lesson—purposeful, professional, self-examination—empower you? —TC Cummings November 10, 2009 It was May 2000, and I was in the seminar business and discouraged. His name was Mr. Palmer, and he was a 75-year-old wealthy real estate mogul and my mentor. “Ron, I make mistakes every day... because I do something every day.” I looked up from my drink and saw Mr. Palmer smiling. He then asked, “Do you follow me?” I did. Loud and clear. He was saying, “Who cares if you made some mistakes? Mistakes only signify action, and that is much better than inaction.” It was barely 12 months later, and I knew I could break a memory record in the Guinness Book of World Records. It was set by a man who memorized 27 numbers in one minute and 21 seconds. I knew I could beat that. Although, I never had. I persuaded FOX television to let me attempt it on live television. My best friend, Brian, helped me practice all week. He would call out 28 random numbers, and at the same time, he held a stopwatch and clocked me. It was very frustrating. Not once did I get it right. Brian asked me, “You do realize you are going on FOX this week and you have never gotten this right. Are you sure you want to do this? It is live TV.” “I will get it right when it counts.” I said, nervously hoping I was right. The day before the show aired, the FOX producer had me come to the studio to practice and I didn’t get it right then either. The producer looked at me and said, “You don’t have to go on tomorrow if this is something you can’t do.” My response without hesitation was, “Just put me on the air.” The producer sighed and shook her head as if I were about to bring down the entire FOX network if I failed. What the producer didn’t understand is that I now lived my life by the Mr. Palmer philosophy, and that philosophy says, “Who cares?” March 1, 2001, the FOX host read out 28 digits, and I nailed it with six seconds to spare! I had never gotten it right, but when it was in the clutch, I nailed it! In baseball terms, it was the bottom of the ninth, the bases were loaded, down by three runs with two strikes, and I knocked it out of the park. The amazing thing is that I had never done it before! My friends, family, neighbors and the bank teller all high-fived me that day. Now, years later, I still get speaking engagements because of that one minute and 15 seconds of my life. If I had given into inaction and fear, I wouldn’t have much of the income that I do today. And if I had failed, according to Mr. Palmer, “Who cares?” This “Who cares?” philosophy that I learned from Mr. Palmer, not only causes me to take risks in my life, but it also makes me a fun speaker. I am not on the platform wondering what everyone thinks. I am having a blast, and it comes through. And, you know what? People buy into what I am saying because they can tell it is really me and not a phony persona. However, they only see that because I believe in the “Who cares?” philosophy of Mr. Palmer. I encourage you to live your life by the “Who cares?” philosophy and be willing to make a fool out of yourself—even if it is on live television in front of the world. If you are willing to do that, I can guarantee you massive success, even if you fail in your initial goal. —Ron White November 11, 2009 When it comes to meeting and conquering the negativity in your life, here is a key question: what can you do, starting today, that will make a difference? What can you do during economic chaos? What can you do when everything has gone wrong? What can you do when you’ve run out of money, when you don’t feel well and it’s all gone sour? What can you do? Let me give you the broad answer first. You can do the most remarkable things, no matter what happens. People can do incredible things, unbelievable things, despite the most impossible or disastrous circumstances. Here is why humans can do remarkable things: because they are remarkable. Humans are different than any other creation. When a dog starts with weeds, he winds up with weeds. And the reason is because he’s a dog. But that’s not true with human beings. Humans can turn weeds into gardens. Humans can turn nothing into something, pennies into fortune, and disaster into success. And the reason they can do such remarkable things is because they are remarkable. Try reaching down inside of yourself; you’ll come up with some more of those remarkable human gifts. They’re there, waiting to be discovered and employed. With those gifts, you can change anything for yourself that you wish to change. And I challenge you to do that because you can change. If you don’t like how something is going for you, change it. If something isn’t enough, change it. If something doesn’t suit you; change it. If something doesn’t please you, change it. You don’t ever have to be the same after today. If you don’t like your present address, change it—you’re not a tree! If there is one thing to get excited about, it’s your ability to make yourself do the necessary things, to get a desired result, to turn the negative into success. That’s true excitement. —Jim Rohn November 12, 2009 Go on, it’s okay. Admit it! We all know that life would be a whole lot easier if we didn’t have to deal with those few (or many) difficult people we just can’t seem to avoid. I think you know who I’m talking about. What’s not okay is to give up something you need, want or deserve because of their rude, obnoxious, sullen, and apathetic habits. Yes, I do mean “habits.” If you’re tired of playing their game, take charge of your life by taking a good look at yourself! You cannot change them, but you can change what you do and how you act around them, and ultimately how they affect your life. There’s good news... and there’s bad news. Difficult people have been trained and taught to act the way they do since they were children. In fact, they have been rewarded for their negative behavior throughout their entire lives. Difficult behavior worked for them as children, and more important, it continues to work for them as adults. I believe that most of us are born with the capacity and desire to love and be loved. As we grow, we learn to respond to verbal and visual cues and we begin to adjust our behavior to obtain the positive responses we want. Children who can manipulate their parents soon learn to enjoy feelings of power and control over others. The game of life is basically about “getting our needs met.” And you certainly do play a part! We reward difficult people by giving in to their needs. Think about it. If someone’s behavior is consistently inappropriate or unacceptable toward you, ask yourself if in any way you are rewarding their negative behavior. For example, Helen gets upset every time Harry mentions that he wants to play golf. Rather than face a 2-hour lecture he usually finds it easier to just stay home. One day, however, he gets angry and accuses her of being a nag who never understands him. Instead of answering back, Helen gets her feelings hurt, stomps off and gives him the silent treatment. Harry takes advantage of her “cold shoulder” and plays a few holes of golf! Jennifer wins the same “reward” at her new school. Few of the kids would talk to her and some were even making fun of her. She asked to stay in during recess, but the teacher said no. Eventually she gets into a fight and pushes another girl down. The teacher tells Jennifer that fighting is against the rules and she will have to stay inside. What did Jennifer learn? Ask the teacher respectfully and you will not get what you want. Push someone and you can avoid recess! We have three choices each time we respond to another person: 1. Be positive; 2. Be negative; and 3. Avoid or ignore them. Difficult people see avoidance as a positive response. When we ignore unacceptable, inappropriate behavior, it will usually happen again because our avoidance tells the difficult person that we are willing to accept their behavior. What do they really want? Difficult people want to do their own thing, in their own time, in their own way, without interference. In addition, they expect everyone around them to cooperate—even work extra hard—to ensure that this happens. And they do not see anything unreasonable about these expectations. There is little in their experience to signal them that their actions are inappropriate. They also have little (if any) desire or motivation to change their habits. What can I do about it? We learn a lot from difficult people. We tolerate their behavior and attitudes as “part of life.” We hold back our feelings and swallow our words. We make concessions even when we do not receive anything in return. We compromise even when it is 90/10 instead of 50/50. We may even question our own ability to relate and communicate with others, reasoning that “Maybe it’s me.” Since we cannot change difficult people, we can only change ourselves and our reactions to their behavior. They need our cooperation and our permission to intimidate, control and repeatedly manipulate us to get their way. In most relationships, we are treated exactly the way we allow ourselves to be treated. The good news is that, because we are partly responsible, there is something we can do to create and maintain relationships where we are treated respectfully. That’s great news! By focusing on ourselves and the changes we can make in our own behaviors and reactions, we can begin to take control of how other people treat us—today! —Connie Podesta November 13, 2009 I heard a speaker recently who was talking about how to maintain strong relationships. As I listened to his basic principle, I realized that it is true in all of our life situations, whether work, family, etc. And, let’s face it; relationships are what make the world go ’round. So strong healthy relationships will make your work more enjoyable, and prosperous, and will make your family and friend relationships better as well. What was the principle? The speaker said that each point of connection is like an anchor in the relationship, and the more connections you have, the stronger the relationship will be. He calls one-connection relationships “simplex,” and multi-connection relationships, “multiplex.” The strongest relationships are multiplex. There is also the idea that some connections are stronger than others and so you want as many connections as possible and you want those connections to be as strong as they can be as well. Confused? Let’s put some legs on this. We’ll take a business situation and we’ll take a family situation to illustrate the principle. Anchoring work relationships. Let’s say you sell insurance. A guy walks in and says, “I would like to purchase some term life insurance.” You have a simplex relationship. The connection is that you both want him to have insurance. As you get to know him better and get information from him, you realize that you have a multiplex relationship growing and the chance that your business relationship will grow is improving. “You grew up in Iowa? Me too!” The multiple connections are anchoring your relationship. Anchoring a family relationship. Let’s take a marriage in trouble. Chances are that at one time, the relationship was multiplex. Because of time, work and other stresses, the marriage has deteriorated to the point where both are thinking, “What did I marry this person for?” Or “Why do I stay?” The chances are that now the relationship is simplex. Maybe it is that the one connection is that they want to do right by the kids and so they “Tough it out.” What is the answer? I believe that it is regaining a multiplex relationship. Work hard to make those other anchoring connections. Did you used to play tennis together before the kids came along? Go play tennis together on a regular basis. Do you both have a common interest in a specific cause or charity, but time hasn’t allowed you to pursue it? Take the time! It will anchor your relationship again! I think you get the point. Take some time to think about your current relationships. Are they as multiplex as they can be or as they used to be? Think about the new relationships you will make in the coming weeks or months. Think of ways you can make them strong by finding multiple connections, securing deeper and more fulfilling relationships. Make your relationships “multiplex” and you make them strong, with an anchor that will not let them go! —Chris Widener November 14, 2009 Some people just have a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. They are being, “Hung by the Tongue!” A state trooper pulled a man over for speeding on a deserted road. Since the road was clear and the weather fine, the trooper had indicated that he may not give the man a ticket, and let him off with a warning. He even complemented both the man and his wife for wearing their seatbelts. At that point the woman leaned over and said, “Well, officer, when you drive the speeds we do, you have to wear them.” That’s when the trooper wrote the ticket. Hung by the Tongue! Gene and Carolyn were entertaining for the first time since the birth of their baby. Everything ran smoothly until one of Gene’s buddies arrived with his new girlfriend—a woman whom Carolyn did not particularly care for. She beckoned her husband upstairs with the excuse that they had to check on the baby. In the privacy of the nursery, she spoke freely of her disdain for the new guest. When they went downstairs to rejoin the party, they were greeted with an awkward silence—except for the occasional murmuring of the sleeping baby that came from the infant monitor sitting on the table. Hung by the Tongue! There is an ancient Japanese proverb that says, “A tongue three inches long can kill a man six feet tall.” If you are continually being “hung by your tongue,” you can be “loosed from the noose” if you would just learn to engage your mind a little bit before you speak! Here’s the process: Think... then speak! I believe that we need to make our words sweet—just in case we have to eat them! The words of your mouth are a creative force. They play a big part in predestining your future. Your words are the architects of your life. The tongue is like a tool. We need to use our tools of the present to build the future we desire. You see, your future will someday be your present. Your present will someday be your past. You can chart the course of your future by your compass... your tongue. It will guide you like a rudder... into either troubled waters or a calm sea. But, don’t be misled... it WILL guide you. If you can change what you think about, you can change what comes out of your mouth. What comes out of your mouth will someday be in your future. The words you speak create an atmosphere. If you are going to have a meeting and you really pump it up and build it, what happens? People come with expectancy! They come excited. Your words have set the stage for success! One of the foundational revelations of a wise leader is to learn to control his or her words! Remember, Samson slew 1,000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. Way too many businesses, lives and relationships are destroyed with the same weapon. Be loosed from the Noose! Refuse to be... Hung by the Tongue —Gary Eby November 15, 2009 Have you ever walked into a room and couldn't remember what you went there for? Have you ever grasped the hand of a potential client and then when the handshake broke, the name seemed to disappear from your memory? Or have you ever left a prospect and as you drove away remembered a key point that you should have shared with them? Of course you have... we all have. However, I have some great news for you. Your memory is nowhere near as bad as you may think it is. A few years ago, I was a guest at a radio station in Waco. The disc jockey wrote a 50-digit number on a sheet of paper and told his listening audience and then played a three-minute song for his audience. As the listeners enjoyed the song, I memorized the 50-digit number. When the song was over, we went back live on the air and I handed him the paper. I then proceeded to recall the number forwards and then I again backwards. The disc jockey looked at me in utter disbelief and stunned he said, “Ron... you are incredible!” I looked him straight in the eye and replied, “You know... you are right!” I said, “Jay, the greatest computer ever created does not come from Dell or Gateway. The greatest computer ever created does not sit on the assembly line of a computer factory. Instead, you and I are the greatest computers ever created. And yes... you are right. I am incredible... but so are you.” The human memory has the ability to hear a 100-digit number or more once and then repeat it forwards and backwards. It has the ability to memorize a Shakespearean play word for word or memorize the stats of every baseball player for the last 100 years. And the human memory has the capability to meet 100 people in 20 minutes and recall every single name! Now, the question is, are you doing these things? If not, the reason is simply that you have not been trained to. Two thousand years ago a Greek named Simonedes developed a memory method called “Loci.” With this method, Simonedes numbered locations in his home. He started in the doorway and then logically proceeded around his home. He reviewed these items so many times mentally that if you asked him what was number 25, then he could instantly tell you what piece of furniture that number corresponded to. These 25 objects were actually mental files for Simonedes. If he had a list of items he wanted to recall, he would place them mentally on these objects in his home. Let's say that you are a professional who wants to give a speech without notes. Simply turn the key points into pictures and then file them to your “house files.” When you are called upon to speak, simply mentally walk through the house and give your talk without notes. For example, I gave a one-hour keynote in Atlanta at a home builders conference. I wrote my speech out the night before. The first thing I wanted to do was talk about the book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” So I visualized the book on my front door and then mentally walked through my house and gave the one-hour talk without notes! That can work for you as well. Anything that you want to recall, simply turn it into a picture, place it on your house files and get ready to be amazed! YOU are the greatest computer ever created! —Ron White November 16, 2009 Something will master and something will serve. Either you run the day or the day runs you; either you run the business or the business runs you. Learn how to separate the majors and the minors. A lot of people don’t do well simply because they major in minor things. Don’t mistake movement for achievement. It’s easy to get faked out by being busy. The question is: Busy doing what? Days are expensive. When you spend a day you have one less day to spend. So make sure you spend each one wisely. Sometimes you need to stay in touch but be out of reach. Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it, and spend it rather than invest it. We can no more afford to spend major time on minor things than we can to spend minor time on major things. Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. Never begin the day until it is finished on paper. Learn how to say no. Don’t let your mouth overload your back. Time is the best-kept secret of the rich. Jim Rohn November 17, 2009 One of the first things successful people realize is the old adage, “If it is to be, it is up to me.” That is, for you, the fact that your success and your course is up to you. This doesn’t mean that you do it all alone. It simply means that you take responsibility for your life and your career. Too many people today look at opportunity and figure it is up to someone else to make sure they get it. They look at financial security and hope that the government will make sure they live safely in retirement or in case of disability. They wait and wait, figuring that it is up to someone else. And then the wait is over, and it is too late to do anything. Their life is over and they are filled with regret. This isn’t true for you however. You know that you must take responsibility for your life. It is up to you. The fact is that nobody else is going to do it for you; you must do it yourself. Now, some people may say, “Jim, that’s a lot of responsibility.” Friends, that is the best news you can ever hear. You get to choose your life. Hundreds of millions of people all around this world would give anything to live in the situation you do, just for the chance to have the opportunity to take control of their destiny. “It is up to you” is a great blessing! Here’s why: 1. You get to chart your own destiny. Maybe you want to start a small business and stay there. That’s great because you can choose that. Maybe you want to create a small chain of stores. Maybe you want to have a net worth of $100 million. That’s okay too. The idea is that you get to choose. You can do whatever you like. Different people have different dreams and they should live them accordingly. 2. You can reap what you sow. Sleep in and go to work late and reap the return. Or get up early and outwork the others and earn a greater return. Place your capital at risk and earn a return or place it at greater risk and perhaps reap a greater return. You decide what you will sow and, thus, what you will reap. 3. No one else can stop you from getting your dream. Yes, there will always be things that come up and people who may not like what you are doing, but you can just move on and chart your own course. There is great freedom in that. 4. You experience the joy of self-determination. There is no greater pride than knowing you set your mind on something and accomplished it. Those who live with a victim mentality never get to experience the joy of accomplishment because they are always waiting for someone else to come to the rescue. Those who take responsibility get to live the joy of seeing a job well done. Let me ask you a question: Where will you be in 5 years? 10 years? 25 years? Do you know? Do you have an idea? Have you ever dreamed about it or set a goal for it? Are you willing to take responsibility and recognize that, “It is up to you?” You will be wherever you decide to be in those timeframes. You decide. It is up to you. And that is very exciting! To Your Success, November 18, 2009 Take care to feed and stimulate your brain, and you will expand your mind. A healthy brain is central to a healthy mind. The two are inextricably connected. We need to see the human brain and mind with wonder, awe and inspiration. But first, what do we mean by “learning?” Here’s how some dictionaries define it: --the act, process, or experience of gaining knowledge or skill Keep this in mind; learning is gaining knowledge through various means. Now, a little about the brain: The brain is the equivalent of a human supercomputer. Your brain is more complicated than any computer mankind has ever made. Maximizing your brain’s ability is essential to becoming the success you desire to become—because it controls who you are. It is the command center involved in and controlling absolutely everything you do. Your brain determines how you think, feel and act. Simply put: When your brain is working at peak performance, it allows you to be your best, because it controls the rest. Here are some facts about the brain: It is about 2% of body weight. Needless to say, most of us have barely scratched the surface when it comes to tapping into those neurons! There are some basic influences on the brain that shape how it functions and how far it develops. Some of these include genes, health, injury, self-talk, life experiences, stress and study (or lack of it). Notice I said that these influence the brain, but they do not determine how far you can go or what you can learn, except perhaps in the case of severe injury or mental retardation. In other words, you have the incredible opportunity to go as far as you desire! —Jim Rohn November 19, 2009 The older I get the more I notice that my metabolism seems to be moving slower than most glaciers. I was watching a turtle the other day make its way across the grass and I could have sworn that I heard my metabolism say, “Hey turtle, slow down…what is your hurry?” It has become a monumental struggle to maintain the weight that I prefer. Other than eating the right foods, I have become a runner. That is right—a runner. It is the last thing I thought you would ever hear me say. A few years ago, it would have been more likely that I join a Polish circus as a fire juggler. Yet, here I am, a runner. A concept that running has taught me is the one of “gradual adaptation.” When I started running, one and a half miles seemed unfathomable. As I lumbered around the track that first jog, it felt as if my eyes were rolling back in my head. I could feel my lunch making its way to resurface and my lungs gasped to grab all the oxygen in my time zone. Now, as I glide past the 1.5-mile mark, I haven’t even gotten warmed up. What made the change? Gradual adaptation. A fellow runner suggested that I run for 20 minutes at a slow pace. He convinced me that it was the duration and not the intensity that was important. I soon reported back to him that I was able to run 20 minutes with great ease at 6.3 mph. “Super!” he replied. “Next time you run, run for 25 minutes.” In my mind, he might as well have told me to sprout wings and fly. Yet, I nodded my head and told him I would give it a try. To my amazement, the extra five minutes came easy. Within a few weeks, I was running 30 minutes, then 35, then 40, then 45 and then 60 consecutive minutes! If I had started at 60 minutes, I would have most likely been wheeled to the hospital afterward and never run again. Instead, I chose the option of gradual adaptation. Whether your goal is running, building a business or learning a new skill, the concept of gradual adaptation is one that you must implement to be successful. Don’t attempt to change the world in a day. Brian Buffini says that most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year (this is because they don’t practice gradual adaptation) and underestimate what they can accomplish in a decade. How to implement gradual adaptation:
This six-step process will work if you are building a business, a workout routine or learning a new skill. Remember that no one ever ran a marathon the first time out of the blocks and neither will you. Practice gradual adaptation. —Ron White November 20, 2009 How did a woman with no money, industry experience or college degree create a $5 billion product line the industry giants missed? How could a graduate student in a single week solve two mathematical problems that had puzzled leading mathematicians for decades? How did a mediocre baseball player who couldn’t hit worth a darn transform himself into a major league star? What allowed a young man labeled “unemployable” by government agencies become a top-producing salesperson and receive his employer’s highest honor? What drove a teenage boy to leave his African homeland and complete a perilous 3,000-mile, two-year journey on foot with absolutely no money or resources? You will find the answers to these questions in the stories in the best-selling book Unstoppable, and through the popular audio program Unstoppable 30-Day Challenge. They are stories of the human spirit, of people who have overcome fear, doubt and great adversity to achieve what the rest of the world saw only as “impossible.” Such “impossible” stories have been repeated throughout history. Where some of us have seen only limitations of the world or ourselves, others have gone on, with courage and imagination, exploring new worlds, achieving great dreams, ignoring warnings that “it” can’t be done. The evidence of the unstoppable human spirit is everywhere. We have dammed rivers, dug canals, cured diseases, invented thousands of labor-saving machines, and forged roads across towering mountains. We have created global networks of communication and travel. We have touched the moon. No obstacle has been too great for people who possess an unstoppable spirit. Progress is not the only benefit of the unstoppable spirit. People’s dreams have come true, communities have united, and individuals have been inspired to try one more time. From the greatest global achievement to the most personal accomplishment in our daily lives, the unstoppable spirit is the driving force for positive change and growth. This spirit is the force that breaks through countless personal barriers—barriers of self-doubt, negativity and our own perceived limitations. It compels us to persist in striving toward our goals. —Cynthia Kersey November 21, 2009 1. The Law of Control: You feel good about yourself to the degree at which you feel you are in control of your own life. 2. The Law of Responsibility: You are completely responsible for everything you are and for everything you become and achieve. 3. The Law of Direction: Successful people have a clear sense of purpose and direction in every area of their lives. 4. The Law of Compensation: You are always fully compensated for whatever you do, positive or negative. 5. The Law of Service: Your rewards in life will always be in direct proportion to the value of your service to others. 6. The Law of Applied Effort: All things are amenable to hard work. 7. The Law of Overcompensation: If you always do more than you are paid for, you will always be paid more than you are getting now. 8. The Law of Preparation: Effective performance is preceded by painstaking preparation. 9. The Law of Forced Efficiency: The more things you have to do in a limited period of time, the more you will be forced to work on your most important tasks. 10. The Law of Decision: Every great leap forward in life is preceded by a clear decision and a commitment to action. 11. The Law of Creativity: Every advance in human life begins with an idea in the mind of a single person. 12. The Law of Flexibility: Success is best achieved when you are clear about the goal but flexible about the process of getting there. 13. The Law of Persistence: Your ability to persist in the face of setbacks and disappointments is your measure of your belief in yourself and your ability to succeed. —Brian Tracy November 22, 2009 “Write checks on a regular basis to those who you want to bless, not those who you owe. Be generous. If you are thinking of one amount, raise it a bit. They’ll be glad now. You’ll be glad now and later.” —Chris Widener in The ABCs of Success There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who allow their abundance to pile up and bring them a sense of (false) security, and those who use their abundance to increase not only the joy in their lives but also in the lives of others by being generous. I believe that the truly successful, those who will change the lives of others and leave a legacy, are the ones who are generous with their abundance. So how do we become generous people? Here are some thoughts. First, get over your idea that money will bring you security. It won’t. It might make you feel more secure, and it might enable you to purchase things right now, but all money can disappear quite easily. Markets go south, businesses go bankrupt, and fortunes are lost. History is filled with poor people who were once rich and lost it all. This idea that we can and have to keep it all is one of the greatest myths around. So when we give money away, it doesn’t affect us emotionally, bringing out a fear of lost security. Second, focus on the joy you bring to others when you are generous. I love to be the one to buy something for someone who would enjoy it, to help someone who needs it, or to encourage someone who would be helped by my generosity. There are always people and organizations who will benefit from our generosity and who will be overjoyed by it. And in turn, they will help others. Third, make giving a planned and methodical task. I write out checks at the beginning of every month to people and organizations that I believe are helping others. I don’t owe them this money; I choose to give it to them. It is something I believe in. Every month without fail I write those checks. It keeps me on track and keeps them encouraged, motivated and moving in the right direction. As for methodical, remember that, over time, even small gifts add up. Maybe you can’t afford to give or help with $300 today, but you could with $25 a month for a year. There is no way that my wife and I could afford to give a million dollars away at this stage of our lives, but our goal is to do that before we die. And I believe we will hit that because we are pursuing it methodically every month. And when we get to the end of our lives, we will be able to look back at our generosity and see that we made a difference. But you can’t achieve those kinds of goals if you don’t start somewhere and stick to a plan. Fourth, make your generosity spontaneous. This takes a lot of self-awareness, because I am not suggesting that you get yourself in financial trouble by being foolish, but here it is: Be the generous one of the group. Pick up the check for your friends and others. I have found that if you are wise with your money, you won’t get yourself into trouble by being the generous one. Picking up lunch won’t break the bank. Offer to do nice things for your friends, relatives and co-workers. And then watch your relationships blossom! Fifth, understand the principle that you reap what you sow. I truly believe that those who are generous, who help others, will always receive back what they need. I live by the principle of John Wesley: “Earn all you can, give all you can, save all you can.” This principle brings our finances into perfect tension. Yes we earn, and all that we can, but we also go at our saving and giving with the same kind of gusto! And what happens, but that we are given more to turn around and be generous with again. Lastly, and this is key for successful people, never allow there to be strings on your generosity. Do not expect anything in return. That is not generosity but manipulation. Pure generosity is its own reward. How to start today? If you aren’t currently on a plan of giving, choose a charitable organization you believe in and write them a check—today. And then write that same check on the first of every month. If you are currently being generous with your resources, seriously consider an increase! Even a percentage point or two will help you and them. It will stretch you and encourage them! Be a Success! Be Generous! —Chris Widener November 23, 2009 Note: Paul J. Meyer, considered one of the most influential people in the history of the personal-achievement industry, passed away just over a week ago at the age of 81. Paul is the best-selling author of personal-development materials in the world, having sold more than $3 billion worth of materials translated into 24 languages in more than 60 countries. Paul’s body of work influenced the lives and teachings of many in the personal-development industry. The industry has lost a legend. The world has lost a truly wonderful human being. Every day, every week, and every month will take you closer to your goals IF you are planning your action and then putting action to your plan. These three steps will help you reach your goals: Step One: MONTHLY PLANNING Step Two: WEEKLY PLANNING Step Three: DAILY PLANNING When you put daily action to your plan, your goals will quickly come to pass! —Paul J. Meyer and Kevin Rhea November 24, 2009 Successful salespeople learn to recognize and overcome barriers to communication. There are two types of such barriers: those arising from the environment and those stemming from the hearer’s resistance. Read on to learn how to communicate like a pro. Successful salespeople learn to recognize and overcome barriers to communication. There are two types of such barriers: those arising from the environment and those stemming from the hearer’s resistance. Environmental Barriers If you’ve ever tried to talk with a friend at a crowded and noisy business party, you can readily understand how the environment can present major barriers. If you’ve ever tried to carry on a conversation in a room where a rock band was going full blast, you can appreciate the noise barrier. A good general tries not to commit his troops on terrain that presents inherent disadvantages. Good communicators follow similar strategies. They try not to set up conversations in settings that will compete for attention. When you are communicating with an individual, that individual deserves your full attention. Choose a time and a place that will minimize interruptions. If you’re meeting in your office during business hours, have your secretary hold telephone calls, or use your telephone answering device for the duration of the conversation. Many executives set aside certain times of day during which they will receive telephone calls and unscheduled visitors. The rest of the time, they reserve for creative thinking, strategic planning, decision-making and other duties of leadership. When disturbances do occur, try not to talk over them. If the disturbance is obviously temporary, suspend the conversation until the interruption is past. If it’s obviously going to be prolonged, try to reschedule the conversation for a more favorable time. I often teach salespeople where to sit on sales calls or when they’re conducting business over a meal. My advice: Put the other person’s back to any distractions, so your listener’s attention won’t be constantly diverted by what’s happening in the background. Finally, pay attention to comfort. I’ve given more than 5,000 speeches and seminars, and I’ve battled all kinds of odds. I can tell you that audience discomfort is one barrier you can’t overcome: your only winnable strategy is to avoid it. So stay away from settings that are too hot, too cold or otherwise uncomfortable. Nobody can concentrate while in a state of discomfort. And if the person you need to communicate with is ill, injured or going through some emotional trauma, it’s best to reschedule the conversation. Otherwise, you’re going up against impossible barriers to communication. Monitoring the environment is the task of any person who wishes to communicate, whether as a company leader, a salesperson, a manager or a letter writer. You just can’t ignore such barriers. To do so is to give up and let the competing voices have your audience. If people are distracted or interrupted, or they feel uncomfortable, they’re not likely to tune you in completely, understand your message thoroughly, or respond to you positively. Audience Resistance People often form first impressions on the basis of external factors. If the first impression is negative, you won’t get the person’s attention. Look for characteristics of dress, speech and actions that may be turning people off. If your dress is too casual, frivolous or distracting, you may be losing listeners. If your voice is strident, shrill or guttural, people may find you unpleasant to listen to. In certain areas, regional accents may turn people off. If you speak with a pronounced regional accent and are doing business in a region where that accent is not commonly heard, you may have to look for ways to overcome this barrier. You may want to work on acquiring a more generic accent. Or you may want to spend some time cultivating the person’s confidence. It goes without saying that good grooming and good personal hygiene are essential to good communication. Body odor, halitosis, or a disheveled appearance will cause people to turn away from you. Internal Barriers If you discern a lack of interest, then your task is to find some way to lead your listener to identify with your message. How does it concern your listener personally? What bearing does it have on the listener’s job, income, health, family or security? Once you establish that point of identity, you’ll have attention. People have a way of erecting defense mechanisms and emotional barriers when they feel threatened by what you are saying or by the way you are saying it. Studies have repeatedly shown that people, like other creatures, feel protective of their territories. Invade those turfs, or act in a threatening manner, and you will be sure to turn off their attention. When your task is to deliver an unpleasant message or to persuade your listener to take some unpleasant action, look for ways to neutralize the negatives and to reassure the person who feels threatened. Bonds of Misunderstanding So when a bond salesperson approached a farmer who was out in the barnyard slopping his hogs, the salesperson was frustrated at the lack of interest in his patriotic mission. “Wouldn’t you like to help out by buying some war bonds?” he asked. Frustrated, the salesperson moved on. The farmer’s wife came over and asked who the stranger had been. “Some fellow had a story about a guy named Roosevelt who got a woman named Pearl Harbor in trouble over on the side of Church Hill and wanted me go to his bond.” Sometimes, you have to explain very carefully. Keep It Simple Once while evangelist Billy Graham was flying into Dallas to address the student body of a large seminary, a storm moved in. Visibility at the airport became so low that his plane couldn’t land. So it had to circle over the city for several hours—long beyond the time of his scheduled appearance. But no one on the ground knew that his plane couldn’t land. “It occurred to me while I was up there circling around,” he later told a group, “that as preachers, we spend most of our time circling around in a fog, while people are wondering where in the world we are.” It’s a condition that plagues people in any business. The high art of plain talk is simply saying something so that it can be understood. —Nido Qubein November 25, 2009 Note: Paul J. Meyer, considered one of the most influential people in the history of the personal-achievement industry, passed away last week at the age of 81. Paul is the best-selling author of personal-development materials in the world, having sold more than $3 billion worth of materials translated into 24 languages in more than 60 countries. Paul’s body of work influenced the lives and teachings of many in the personal-development industry. The industry has lost a legend. The world has lost a truly wonderful human being. Develop and reinforce these five habits of success. When you do, you will not have to make new decisions every morning. You instinctively know what you are going to do and how you are going to do it! 1. The habit of positive thinking! 2. The habit of prospecting! 3. The habit of calling on people! 4. The habit of selling! 5. The habit of working! How do you acquire these habits? You simply decide that the opportunity of presenting is a service is worth doing! Determine ahead of time the personal goals you can achieve for success in this business! Be confident that you have the ability to change or to do whatever it takes to get the job done! Enter into it without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat! Live each day with positive expectancy! Stick to the basics and the fundamentals! —Paul J. Meyer and Kevin Rhea November 26, 2009 My father taught me to always do more than you get paid for as an investment in your future. Whether you stay six weeks, six months or six years, always leave it better than you found it. Don’t bring your need to the marketplace; bring your skill. If you don’t feel well, tell your doctor, but not the marketplace. If you need money, go to the bank, but not the marketplace. If you make a sale, you can make a living. If you make an investment of time and good service in a customer, you can make a fortune. Don’t just let your business or your job make something for you; let it make something of you. Lack of homework shows up in the marketplace as well as in the classroom. Where you start in the marketplace is not where you have to stay. The worst days of those who enjoy what they do are better than the best days of those who don’t. We get paid for bringing value to the marketplace. It takes time to bring value to the marketplace, but we get paid for the value, not the time. Here’s the major problem with going on strike for more money: You cannot get rich by demand. November 27, 2009 “It is the promise of spring that as we sow, so shall we also reap. Faith further provides to us an irrevocable law decreed in heaven, which assures that for every disciplined human effort, we will receive a multiple reward. For each cup planted, a bushel reaped; for every good idea given to another, many shall be given to us in return. For every demonstrated act of faith, a multiplicity of the rewards; and for every act of love given, a life of love in return.” In past years, as I traveled around the country and world lecturing, one of the most frequently asked questions was about what I expect to happen over the next 6–12 months and-or even years. Well, I’m no expert, but I can share with you my thoughts. Whether it is preparing for the next few months or the next several years, I still believe there are overriding principals that we should follow and be led by. So I’d like to devote my message this week and next to my view of the period of history we’re in now and how it relates to words I wrote almost 30 years ago in my book, The Seasons of Life. Forgive me in advance if I sound a bit philosophical, but as you know by now, I do believe your philosophy is critical to your life’s success. Life is about constant, predictable patterns of change. For the 6,000 years of recorded history, as humans have entered this world, received parental instruction, classroom instruction, and gathered the experience of life, many have set for themselves ambitious goals and dreamed lofty dreams. As the wheel of life continues its constant turning, all human emotions appear, disappear, and appear once again. A major challenge faced by us all is that we must learn to experience the changing of life’s cycles without being changed by them, to make a constant and conscious effort to improve ourselves in the face of changing circumstances. That is why I believe in the power and value of attitude. As I read, ponder and speculate about people, their deeds and their destiny, I become more deeply convinced that it is our natural destiny to grow, to succeed, to prosper and to find happiness while we are here. By our attitude, we decide to read or not to read. By our attitude, we decide to try or to give up. By our attitude, we blame ourselves for our failure or we blame others. Our attitude determines whether we tell the truth or lie, act or procrastinate, advance or recede, and by our own attitude, we, and we alone, actually decide whether to succeed or fail. How incredibly unique that a God who would create the complex and immense universe would create the human race, and give to those humans the free choice that would permit them to select their own achievement or their own destruction. This strange but all-knowing God gave to us a delicately balanced sphere called Earth. On it, he placed the intelligent human, who would either develop it or destroy it. How terribly fascinating that a God would leave both projects—Earth as well as humans—unfinished! Across the rivers and streams, he built no bridges; he left the pictures unpainted, the songs unsung, the books unwritten and space unexplored. For the accomplishment of those things, God created the unfinished human who, within his heart and mind, had the capacity to do all these things and more, depending upon his own choice. Attitude determines choice, and choice determines results. All that we are and all that we can become has indeed been left unto us. For as long as you continue to draw breath, you have the chance to complete the work in and for the Earth and for yourself that God has begun for you. In the cycles and seasons of life, attitude is everything! So let’s begin our discussion of the four seasons. I’ll start by making two comments. First, life and business are like the changing seasons. That’s one of the best ways to illustrate life: It’s like the seasons that change. Second, you cannot change the seasons, but you can change yourself. Now, with those two key phrases in mind, let’s look at what I consider to be the first major lesson in life to learn, and that is how to handle the winters. They come regularly, right after autumn. Some are long, some are short, some are difficult, some are easy, but they always come right after autumn. That is never going to change. There are all kinds of winters—the “winter” when you can’t figure it out, the “winter” when everything seems to go haywire. There are economic winters, social winters and personal winters. Wintertime can bring disappointment, and disappointment is common to all of us. So you must learn how to handle the winters. You must learn how to handle difficulty; it always comes after opportunity. You must learn to handle recessions; they come right after expansions. That isn’t going to change. The big question is, What do you do about winters? You can’t get rid of January simply by tearing it off the calendar. But here is what you can do: You can get stronger; you can get wiser; and you can get better. Remember that trio of words: stronger, wiser, better. The winters won’t change, but you can. Before I understood this, I used to wish it were summer when it was winter. When things were difficult, I used to wish they were easy. I didn’t know any better. Then Mr. Shoaff gave me the answer from a part of his very unique philosophy when he said, “Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems; wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge; wish for more wisdom.” To Your Success, November 28, 2009 It is better to earn the trust and respect of one of your children than to gain notoriety and adulation of the masses. If you must speak, ask a question. Unless what you say benefits the other person, don’t say it. It’s not what I think that counts, nor is it what you think that counts. It’s what I think you think and what you think I think that really counts. No one listens to a person operating out of self-interest alone. Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle that fits them all. If you attack another person’s beliefs, you are creating an enemy. Moderation in temper is always a virtue. Moderation in principle is always a vice. Emperors are overthrown. Empowerers are revered. Before you state your case, gather the evidence, especially what motivates the other person. Marriage is not total agreement. It is looking in the same direction together. Listening without bias or distraction is the greatest value you can pay another person. —Denis Waitley November 29, 2009 I have a suitcase for you. In that suitcase there is $1 million in cash. The suitcase is sitting in a building that is about an hour’s drive from where you are now. Here is the deal: All you have to do is get to this building in the next two hours. If you get there before the end of the two hours, I will hand you the suitcase, and you will be a million dollars richer. There is one catch, however. If you are even one second late, our deal is off, and you will not get a dime. No exceptions! With that in mind, what time would you like to leave? Most people would respond to that scenario by saying that they would leave right now. Wouldn’t you? So off you go. You jump into your car and start driving for the building. You are excited and are already starting to plan how you are going to spend your million dollars. Then, suddenly, the traffic comes to a complete stop. You turn on the radio and find that there has been a series of freak accidents between you and the building and there is no way to get there! Now what would you do? Would you give up and go back home? Or would you get out of your car and walk, run, hire a helicopter, or find some other way of getting to the building on time? Now let’s suppose for a minute that you are driving to an appointment at your dentist’s office. The traffic again comes to a stop. Amazingly, there have been freak accidents between you and your dentist’s office. What would you do then? Probably give up, go home and reschedule! What is the difference between these two situations? It all comes down to why. If the why is big enough; the how is usually not a problem. This compelling why is connected to your personal objectives, mission statement or magnificent obsessions. It is the basis of your motivational support beam. Truly motivated people are able to identify and tap into the power of a compelling why in everything they do. —Denis Waitley November 30, 2009 One of the most desirable attitudes of a leader is an ability to view problems as opportunities and setbacks as temporary inconveniences. This positive attitude also welcomes change as friendly and is not upset by surprises, even negative ones. How we approach challenges and problems is a crucial aspect of our decision making process, whether in business or in our personal lives. In companies and environments in which criticism, pessimism, cynicism and motivation by fear prevail, an attitude develops that leads to avoiding failure at all costs. The trouble with failure avoidance is that it’s simultaneously avoidance of success, which depends on big risks. Innovation and creativity are impossible when people are in fear of being penalized for failure. Early experience often teaches that failure is to be avoided at all costs. This begins in childhood, when we encounter the first “No!!” It grows like a weed when we are criticized by our parents, other family members, our teachers and our peers. It leads to associating ourselves with our mistakes, and to a self-image of clumsiness and awkwardness. Not wanting to be criticized or rejected, many adults also seek security rather than risk looking foolish or appearing awkward. They quietly ride with the system, not rocking the boat. All lasting success in life is laced with problems and misfortunes which require creativity and innovation. Winners turn stumbling blocks into steppingstones. In the 1920s, when Ernest Hemingway was working hard to perfect his craft, he lost a suitcase containing all his manuscripts. The devastated Hemingway couldn’t conceive of redoing his work. He could think only of the months he’d devoted to his arduous writing—and for nothing, he was now convinced. But when he lamented his loss to poet Ezra Pound, Pound called it a stroke of luck. Pound assured Hemingway that when he rewrote the stories, he would forget the weak parts and only the best material would reappear. Instead of framing the event in disappointment, Pound cast it in the light of opportunity. Hemingway did rewrite the stories, and the rest, as they say, is history. This week, concentrate on framing your challenges as “opportunities to grow” rather than “disappointments and problems.” —Denis Waitley All reprinted articles are reproduced with permission of the author. Thank you! |