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October 1, 2009 “A Person is the causer (though nearly always unconsciously) of his circumstances, and that, whilst aiming at the good end, he is continually frustrating its accomplishment by encouraging thoughts and desires which cannot possibly harmonize with that end.” —As a Man Thinketh One of the examples James Allen uses to support this philosophy is a rich man who is the victim of a painful and persistent disease as the result of gluttony. He’s willing to give large sums of money to get rid of the disease and he fully expects that will be the cure. Unfortunately, he never addresses the gluttonous desire that is the cause of his condition. He can never achieve good health because his desires are not in harmony with the good health he seeks, regardless of the money he spends. Wow, did I relate to the rich man. Not because of his money, but because of his attitude. There’s been so many times in my life that I said I wanted to get rid of negative circumstances, all the while I’m engaging in the actions (brought on by my thoughts) that could never possibly harmonize with the results I said I wanted. Once I remember a big commitment and resolution on my part to spend more time with my family. I optimistically laid out a calendar of activities we would do together and got very excited about the “new me.” The way I had it figured, I’d probably be “father of the year.” Well, I’m glad they didn’t publish the results of the “competition” that year, I’m sure I would have finished dead last. You see, despite my “aiming at the good end,” I hadn’t changed the thought patterns that had plagued me for years. Any type of crisis in my business was a justifiable reason for me to work late or to go in on the weekends. While my mouth said that my family was more important, my actions (and thoughts) said otherwise. James Allen wants us to understand that we cannot change our circumstances without first changing our thoughts to harmonize with the circumstances we want. To think otherwise is just as foolish as the gluttonous rich man. One of my great enlightenments came from Wayne Dyer’s You’ll See It When You Believe It. He wrote, “Work each day on your thoughts rather than concentrating on your behavior. It is your thinking that creates the feelings you have and ultimately your actions as well.” And that’s worth thinking about. —Vic Johnson Reprinted with permission from The Chris Widener Ezine October 2, 2009 The first thing that an aspiring leader must realize is that they must be inspiring! That is, they must be capable of inspiring people on to greater things than if the leader were not in their lives. So, is this too grandiose an ideal for the average local business owner? Absolutely not. The people who work at your business, school or organization need to be inspired by you on a regular basis. It is what keeps them from giving up. Remind them of the big picture. They aren’t just serving food; they are helping families spend time together, so make it enjoyable. They aren’t just changing oil; they are helping make sure a woman and her children don’t break down on the side of the road at night. They aren’t just teaching reading; they are helping open a mind to the mysteries of the world. They aren’t just selling gifts; they are helping people show their appreciation to others in a tangible way. This week: INSPIRE! —Chris Widener Reprinted with permission from The Chris Widener Ezine October 3, 2009 Don’t you just hate it when people make excuses for their failures? So do I. But do you know what I hate even more? Finding myself making excuses for my failures! I have a policy that I try to live by: No excuses. Here are some thoughts on a “No Excuses” policy. People will respect you. When you say that there are no excuses, that you blew it, and that you take full responsibility to make the situation right, people will be astounded (since very few people make no excuses) and they will come to a greater respect for you. You will find yourself taking greater responsibility. When you know that your policy is to have no excuses, there will be less room for error because you will be doing everything that you can to make sure the job gets done! You will become the go-to person. When someone wants something done, they will turn to you because they know that they can count on you to perform. And they know they won’t get any excuses! This will improve your level of success, and that is exactly what you are aiming for, right? Practice up: “You’re right. There is no excuse for that. I will fix it immediately.” Refreshing! —Chris Widener Reprinted with permission from Your Achievement Ezine October 4, 2009 “The only way things are going to change for you is when you change.” “Crud!” His hand hit the dashboard as he said it. “I can’t stand this car!” That about sums up Michael Jones’ life—crud. And… he can’t stand it. Forty years old, a wife of fifteen years he doesn’t know how to connect with, and two kids he barely knows. Add to that a boring job that doesn’t challenge him and hardly pays the bills. In a word: crud. Where had his life gone? Out of college, he and his wife, Amy, had been so filled with dreams. Their lives were ahead of them and nothing seemed impossible. They were full of potential and wanted to do so much. But now they were nowhere near where they had hoped to be. Michael loved Amy, but it just wasn’t what it could be. They had grown apart through the years, and he had no idea how to fix it. The kids are great, but again, there was just no connection with them like he thought “normal” families should have. And his job... definitely not what he wanted. A man his age making $40,000 a year with no upside? This was hardly what he had imagined for his life. It was what it was, and it seemed like he was stuck—stuck with a dead-end job and poor relationships. This wasn’t the success and happiness he and Amy had planned for. But his life was about to change... This car is the worst, he thought as it convulsed and finally died. Going about 30 miles an hour when it stopped running, he guided it as it coasted to a stop along the road. He was on his way to a sales call and he had never taken this road before. It was a long, winding road that acted as a shortcut between two major roads. Not many houses on this road, he observed. After the car rolled to a stop, Michael got out and walked around the car. It wasn’t as though he would be able to tell what was wrong from walking around; he knew zero about cars. He knew how to put gas in it, turn the key over, and that was about it. No smoke, he thought, and that had to be good. He popped the hood and looked at the engine. All the wires seemed connected. All the caps were on. He didn’t have any idea what to do. I should have taken shop class in high school, he thought. Michael reached inside his jacket for his cell phone. He figured he would call a mechanic friend he knew and see if he could get some help. He flipped the phone open and saw the worst—no cell coverage there! “Just my luck,” he said out loud. “They can put a man on the moon and clone a sheep, but they can’t put a cell site up where I need it.” He looked around, trying to decide which way to start walking. Up ahead about 200 feet was a bend in the road, and he couldn’t see what was farther on, so he decided to go that way, just hoping there might be a house beyond the bend. As he walked, he kicked the gravel along the road. Frustrated, alone, and stuck. That’s how he felt right now. About this situation and life in general. As he turned the corner, Michael came across something he had never seen in real life before. Sure, he had seen many in magazines and on TV, but never something like this with his own eyes. Nice pad. Michael found himself standing in front of the most beautiful home he had ever seen. Home may not even be the right word for it. Right at the roadside was a huge gated entrance. The large brick and wrought-iron fence stretched at least 500 feet along the roadside. And the gate was at least ten feet high. Behind the gate was a house that had to be over 10,000 square feet. It was a white plantation style that had twelve two-story pillars across the front—which made sense since the sign at the side of the gate said, “Twelve Pillars.” It was magnificent. Michael stood in front of the gate for a few minutes, just looking in awe at the structure. Finally, he snapped back to reality and realized that he had to get his car fixed. He didn’t see any other houses nearby, but he didn’t know how to get to the house in front of him either. Just then, he saw an old man in white overalls emerge from what looked like a workshop just to the right of the driveway. The old man walked toward the gate. When he got about twenty-five feet from the gate the old man spoke, “Can I help you, young man?” Reprinted with permission from Your Achievement Ezine October 5, 2009 As a youngster, I heard a little rhyme that said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” That’s untrue. Words can give us hope and encouragement, or they can break our spirits and dash our hopes. It has been said that one picture is worth 10,000 words, but the person who said that had obviously never read the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence or the 23rd psalm. They’d never read Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, or the impassioned pleas of Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill or Patrick Henry. Those words changed the course of history and gave individuals and nations a hope for a better future. Charles Osgood said, “Compared to the spoken word, a picture is a pitiful thing, indeed.” For example, a father who was attending a three-day seminar with his teenage son stood up and, for the first time in the boy’s memory, said, “I love you, Son, and I’m proud of you.” A joyous, tear-filled coming together was the result of that father uttering those words. Yes, our words have awesome power. In the business community, a service representative could respond to a question by saying, “I’ll have to get back to you with the answer,” or “I’ll be happy to get back to you with the answer.” In describing a friend, someone could say, “She is a bright, attractive, ambitious, hardworking woman, but she wears glasses.” The connotation is obviously negative. They could say, “She is a bright, attractive, ambitious, hardworking woman and she wears glasses.” What a difference one word can make! Yes, the changing of words changes the thought. Thought leads us into either positive or negative action. Needless to say, the right words produce the right thoughts, which produce the right action, which produce good results. Think about it. Use the right words, and I’ll see you at the top! —Zig Ziglar Reprinted with permission from The Jim Rohn Ezine October 6, 2009 You must get good at one of two things: sowing in the spring or begging in the fall. God has the tough end of the deal. What if, instead of planting the seed, you had to make the tree? That would keep you up late at night, trying to figure that one out. Plant—don’t chant. One of my good friends always says, “Things don’t just happen; things happen just.” The soil says, “Don’t bring me your need; bring me your seed.” Jim Rohn Reprinted with permission from The Jim Rohn Ezine October 7, 2009 Each and every day, there are people all around the country and world who are living their dreams. Millionaires are made every day. Families are experiencing tremendous relationships. People are becoming more and more healthy. Lifelong learners are growing intellectually and improving their chances for success. The fact is, living the life of your dreams is possible. People prove that every day. Someone somewhere is going to get rich, get healthy and improve their life. My recommendation is this: Let it be you! Have you ever wanted to make more money? Have you ever looked at someone who has money and wished it could be you? People think about getting wealthy all the time, when only a small percentage actually do. But any of the masses could. Someone is going to start a business. Someone is going to make a great investment. Someone is going to begin the journey to great wealth. So why not let it be you? Someone is going to decide to improve their relationships. Someone is going to enjoy love with their family. Someone is going to schedule some meaningful time with their friends. So why not let it be you? Someone is going to go back to school to improve their life. Someone is going to become a lifelong learner. Someone is going to set a goal to read a book or listen to a CD each week for the next year. So why not let it be you? Someone is going to look in the mirror and see that they need to lose a little weight and make the decision to become healthy. Someone will run their first marathon. Someone will join an aerobics class and improve their health. Why not let it be you? I think that by now you get the point: Everyday people are improving their lives. Whether you do or don’t doesn’t matter to those who do. They are going to do it, regardless. It is simply a matter of a decision being made. Let that person be you! You may be asking, “OK, Jim, but how?’ Well, let’s cover the very simple actions. The first and most important thing to do is to make a commitment to work on yourself. Are you going to improve or stay the same? No matter what you have achieved, you are at a certain point right now. What you have achieved in the past is fine, but it doesn’t make a difference for the future. The decision about what you will become is made each and every day. Each day, someone is making the decision to better himself. Let that person be you! The second is to make a plan. Once you have decided to become better, you will have to have a plan. It doesn’t have to be a long, intricate plan. It can be simple. Save a dollar a day. Walk a mile a day. Read an article a day. It’s a simple plan with achievable goals. Someone is going to develop a plan that will take them into the future of their dreams. Let it be you! The third is to begin to act. All of the great ideas, without action, become stale and useless. The key to turning dreams into reality is action. People who have great ideas are a dime a dozen. People who act on their dreams and ideas are the select few, but they are the ones who gain the health, wealth and wisdom that is available. Someone will act today. Let it be you. My encouragement to you is to stop looking at others who live the good life, wishing that you were as well, and begin to commit to your improvement, develop a plan and act on it. Someone is going to. Let it be you! To Your Success, Reprinted with permission from The Jim Rohn Ezine October 8, 2009 Finding coaches and mentors is an important mission, and you will no doubt have several over the course of your life. It is critical that you choose them wisely. Your mentor is someone to whom you’ll be committing a great deal of time and attention, and who, ideally, will take a very focused interest in you as well. The process of selecting a mentor begins, first of all, with a clear-sighted view of what your life’s goals are, both for your career and your personal life. If you’re just starting out as an associate in a large law firm, you might choose one of the senior partners as your mentor, or perhaps a partner in another firm you’re familiar with. If you’re just starting a family, and you’re facing the lifestyle adjustments that kids require, your mentor could very likely be someone who is reaching the other end of this very exciting, but demanding, process. In any case, your mentors should be people whose experience can serve as a model for reaching your most significant goals in the most important areas of your life. Selecting a mentor is not just a matter of finding someone you like or feel comfortable identifying with. Make sure that the mentors you choose have a genuine history of success. I’m continually amazed by the number of people who look to only superficially successful people as role models for achievement. Even experts can make conspicuous mistakes of judgment in this area. The next time you’re in a bookstore or library, take a look at the best-selling books on business and management from four or five years ago. There’s an excellent chance that some of the companies cited as models of efficiency are now out of business. I don’t bring this up to disparage anyone’s business expertise, but simply to point out the need for great care in selecting a coach whose success will stand the test of time. In addition to selecting your coaches based on their ability to achieve goals similar to your own, choose mentors who, in the process, have overcome some of the same obstacles you’re facing. Ideally, a mentor really represents both what you want to become in a particular area of life and what you want to do. Seeing your mentors today is like seeing what you intend to be. The coach has arrived at or been to places similar to where you want to go. Choosing a celebrity or public figure as a mentor is a very questionable decision. If at all possible, select a mentor with whom you can actually spend time and with whom you enjoy having conversations and exploring ideas. Of course, you can have admired historical personages, authors, educators or artists as role models. If you discover someone with whom you feel a special affinity, make an effort to obtain everything that person has written or said. Really become a student of the person’s work and life. Don’t just admire him or her; genuinely learn from him or her, as I have learned from the life and wisdom of Benjamin Franklin. One of the most interesting aspects of selecting a mentor is the fact that one can rarely separate people’s tangible achievements from the qualities of their character. More than their bank accounts or their real estate holdings, role models prove by the conduct of their lives that they’re worth emulating. —Denis Waitley Reprinted with permission from The Ron White Ezine October 9, 2009 Sometimes success in life is a result of setting yourself apart from your competition or simply everyone else. There is one behavior that, without a doubt, will give you an advantage over those around you. I will allow Thomas Jefferson to share what that is. He once said,“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” Have you ever been in a stressful situation or in a storm of life in which you were not able to maintain your cool? It happens to all of us. Billy Joel puts it this way in his hit song Pressure: But you will come to a place Jefferson and Joel are in agreement that you will have to handle pressure. Jefferson suggests that how you respond to the pressure can give you a distinct advantage over those around. Accepting the fact that you will encounter adverse situations, how do you prepare yourself to always remain cool? You must run through this checklist before the moment of truth arrives, because under pressure, this list is clouded and feels miles away. Remind yourself that your life has seen many challenges and that you worked through each one and are still standing today. Remind yourself that you are not the first to encounter obstacles. Others have made it—and so can you. Unless you are being attacked in a physical manner, never allow yourself to respond without knowing all the facts. Again, unless being attacked in a physical manner, practice the Rule of Five: Slowly count to five to yourself before you respond. Do not fear walking away from the table as you allow the issue to cool. Do not shirk from asking for help. A team is always stronger than an individual. The question is not: Will you encounter struggles in life? The question is: How will you respond? For a distinct advantage over others, remember the words of our third president and keep your head. —Ron White Reprinted with permission from The Ron White Ezine October 10, 2009 What do you need to know about the prospect’s business to engage? I mean if you just walk in the door and say, “Tell me a little bit about your business,” how unprepared does that make you look? Answer: TOTALLY UNPREPARED. Prepared is going to their website and printing out several strategic pages, reading them, and making notes so you can ask about what you don’t understand, or need elaboration on—not asking about them from TOTAL IGNORANCE. —Jeffrey Gitomer Reprinted with permission from Your Achievement Ezine October 11, 2009 From time to time someone gives another individual the ultimate compliment by saying, “You are a class act,” or by describing a specific behavior by saying, “That’s class.” From time to time a master of ceremonies will introduce an individual by saying, “If you go to the dictionary and look up the word ‘class,’ you will see a picture of your speaker this evening.” A person with class is an individual of integrity, someone you would love to have as a parent or child, a friend or a neighbor, a mentor or an advisor. In short, class identifies a person who is “top drawer,” one who goes the extra mile by being gracious to everyone who courteously serves them. I love the description given in comments made by Bill Daniels who said that “class is something you choose for yourself. It’s competing honestly, confronting problems head-on, taking accolades with grace and humility and not knocking your competitors. If you have class you’re loyal to both yourself and to those around you. Class is born out of self-respect and a healthy respect for others. Everything in this world is not always attainable. Fortunately, class is.” Class is the coach who gives every child on the team his turn “at bat” without regard to the youngster’s ability or the won-lost record of the team. I encourage you to identify someone who is a class act and use that person as a role model. The individual might not be rich and famous or even brilliant, but a person of class is one we can all aspire to be. Take the class approach and I’ll SEE YOU AT THE TOP! Reprinted with permission from Your Achievement Ezine October 12, 2009 “Cause and effect are as absolute and undeviating in the hidden realm of thought as in the world of visible and material things.” —As a Man Thinketh We remember from science class Newton’s physical law that “every action creates an equal and opposite reaction.” Or, every cause has an effect. And because it is a law, it is absolute and undeviating. It always happens—in every circumstance, under every condition. James Allen says the same law that applies in the physical also applies in the world of thought. Every effect must have an originating cause. Our life does not develop as a result of chance but as a result of causes. In the thought world, a thought (the cause) creates a feeling (the effect). Feelings can eventually materialize in the physical world because they create actions or behavior. These actions cause results or outcomes, and thus our life goes. When we say a person “looks worried,” what has taken place? A negative thought of some kind (the cause) triggered a feeling of worry (the effect) that materialized in the physical world through the person’s facial actions. Those feelings may also materialize in other ways. For instance, by increased blood pressure or nausea. All of these “effects” originated from the original cause, which was a thought. Dr. Wayne Dyer writes that “all of our behavior results from the thoughts that preceded it…. So the thing to work on is not your behavior but the thing that caused your behavior, your thoughts.” That was so liberating to me because I was so frustrated in trying to change the behaviors that I knew were causing the pain in my life. But I had been working on the wrong thing. We cannot change anything in our life without first changing the originating cause. And everything in our life originates in our thoughts. As Jim Rohn says: “If the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause.” And that’s worth thinking about. —Vic Johnson Reprinted with permission from TheJim Rohn Ezine October 13, 2009 One customer, well taken care of, could be more valuable than $10,000 worth of advertising. Good service leads to multiple sales. If you take good care of your customers, they will open doors you could never open by yourself. How do you deserve a fortune? Render fortunes of service. You have to do more than you get paid for because that’s where the fortune is. Whoever renders service to many puts himself in line for greatness—great wealth, great return, great satisfaction, great reputation and great joy. Reprinted with permission from TheJim Rohn Ezine October 14, 2009 People often ask me how I became successful in that six-year period of time while many of the people I knew did not. The answer is simple: The things I found to be easy to do, they found to be easy not to do. I found it easy to set the goals that could change my life. They found it easy not to. I found it easy to read the books that could affect my thinking and my ideas. They found that easy not to do. I found it easy to attend the classes and the seminars, and to get around other successful people. They said it probably really wouldn’t matter. If I had to sum it up, I would say what I found to be easy to do, they found to be easy not to do. Six years later, I’m a millionaire and they are all still blaming the economy, the government, and company policies, yet they neglected to do the basic, easy things. In fact, the primary reason most people are not doing as well as they could, and should, can be summed up in a single word: neglect. It is not the lack of money—banks are full of money. It is not the lack of opportunity—America, and much of the world, continues to offer the most unprecedented and abundant opportunities in the last six thousand years of recorded history. It is not the lack of books—libraries are full of books, and they are free! It is not the schools—the classrooms are full of good teachers. We have plenty of ministers, leaders, counselors and advisors. Everything we would ever need to become rich and powerful and sophisticated is within our reach. The major reason that so few take advantage of all that we have is simply neglect. Neglect is like an infection. Left unchecked, it will spread throughout our entire system of disciplines and eventually lead to a complete breakdown of a potentially joy-filled and prosperous human life. Not doing the things we know we should do causes us to feel guilty, and guilt leads to an erosion of self-confidence. As our self-confidence diminishes, so does the level of our activity. And as our activity diminishes, our results inevitably decline. And as our results suffer, our attitude begins to weaken. And as our attitude begins the slow shift from positive to negative, our self-confidence diminishes even more... and on and on it goes. So my suggestion is, when given the choice of “easy to” and “easy not to,” that you do not neglect to do the simple, basic, “easy” but potentially life-changing activities and disciplines. To Your Success, Reprinted with permission from TheJim Rohn Ezine October 15, 2009 I’d rather watch a winner, than hear one any day; —Denis Waitley Reprinted with permission from The Denis Waitley Ezine October 16, 2009 Throughout history, most of the great achievements and incredible comebacks have been the result of an individual whose motivation to persevere was influenced by a coach or mentor. In science, art, politics, sports and business, there is a common thread of having been coached among those who achieve greatness. A coach doesn’t need to be a professional consultant or counselor. He or she could be someone within your organization or industry, or it could be someone from your personal life whom you respect or admire. A study was undertaken on the Hawaiian island of Kauai by two researchers named Emily Werner and Ruth Smith. This study, which followed more than 450 people from childhood through their adult lives, was an attempt to learn why some people are motivated to overcome severe disadvantages while others from the same background seem to have been overwhelmed by their problems. This research continued for an incredible length of time: 40 years, to be exact. According to the research, one of the most interesting qualities of these motivated individuals is their ability to recognize potential sources of support in other people, to look beyond the walls of their homes to find relatives, friends, teachers or other role models who can provide help. This very important finding illustrates the benefits of forming mentor relationships to encourage achievement. Choosing a coach or mentor is like having an additional correctional device to keep you on target. An analogy of this premise comes from aerospace technology. Years ago, the military used inertial guidance systems on missiles. Unfortunately, once the course of an inertially guided missile is set, it proceeds along that path with no capability for adjustments. It’s like a bullet fired from a rifle. Even when the aim is good at the outset, if the target moves unexpectedly once the projectile is in flight, the shot is going to miss. And if there’s one thing you can count on in life, it’s that the target is going to be moving! In the Gulf War of 1992, the Patriot missile that defended Israel and Saudi Arabia was introduced. Unlike previous defenses, this system had an advanced self-adjusting navigation system that continuously monitored the missile’s trajectory as well as the path of its swiftly moving target. The Patriot was able to make whatever corrections were necessary, regardless of changes in the position or speed of its objective. A highly motivated person uses a coach or mentor in the same way when he or she has targeted a worthwhile goal. A coach or mentor can assist you in making adjustments and navigating through difficult times. Finding coaches and mentors is an important mission, and you will no doubt have several over the course of your life. It is critical that you choose them wisely. Your mentor is someone to whom you’ll be committing a great deal of time and attention, and who ideally will take a very focused interest in you as well. —Denis Waitley Reprinted with permission from The Denis Waitley Ezine October 17, 2009 The secret to being a good role model and mentor is in finding out what others want and helping them succeed. The secret to being a good and wise communicator is the patient listening for those desires in others, and also in learning from the experiences of others by questioning and listening thoroughly, so that we may learn from their successes and failures. Frank Sinatra learned his superb breath control in singing from his first band leader, Tommy Dorsey. In large part, the person Helen Keller became was because of Anne Sullivan. Plato learned from Socrates. Jesse Owens credits his winning of the long jump in the 1936 Olympics to a tip given to him by his top German competitor, Luz Long. In the middle of the event, after Owens had already fouled twice on takeoff, Long gave Owens a helpful hint on how to correct his takeoff point. The result was a record breaking leap of over 26 feet, which stood for more than 20 years. Artists have always learned more from observing other artists than from going to classes or observing nature. In a sense, you and I are master artists who have the opportunity to breathe new colors, shading and perspective into the lives of other artists who are struggling with their oils, brushes and canvases. Think back to the people who have had the most influence on you. You will likely find that they have been people who really cared about you—your parents, a great teacher, a coach, business associate, a good friend—someone who was interested in you. The only people you will influence to any great degree will be the people you care about. When you are with people you care for, their interests, rather than your own, will be uppermost in your mind. Our success in getting along with others and communicating effectively with them depends solely upon our ability to recognize their desires and needs, and help them fill those desires and needs with positive actions. In the communication process, knowledge is not always wisdom, sensitivity is not always accuracy, and sympathy is not always understanding. All customer service and the ability to gain trust and repeat business is based on empathy. Empathy is “feeling with” and never assuming anything until you have “walked a mile in the other person’s moccasins.” Since it is impossible to know the road another has walked, the best alternative is to ask questions with interest and respect, and listen for the hidden agendas and desires. In this way, you can be a Renoir to the next Monet! —Denis Waitley Reprinted with permission from The Denis Waitley Ezine October 18, 2009 Any day we wish, we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish, we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish, we can start a new activity. Any day we wish, we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year. We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare observed, “The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves.” We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth. We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives. And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life, if you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life—and it all begins with your very own power of choice. —Jim Rohn Reprinted with permission from TheChris Widener Ezine October 19, 2009 The direction of our lives is determined by the choices we make every day. They accumulate and add up to our ultimate destiny. Here are eight choices you can make—choices that will create for you abundance and prosperity in all areas of your life. 1. Choose to grow personally. This sounds simple but many people only wish to grow personally. They never choose to grow by taking action, such as actually exercising, saving more money, etc. Make a decision today to be a person who is on the never-ending journey of personal growth. 2. Choose to always treat others right. We come across all sorts of people, many of whom will treat us poorly. We can choose to treat them right, no matter how they treat us. When they lie, we will tell the truth. When they cheat, we will play by the rules. We may get the short end of the stick sometimes, but in the long run we will win. And most important, we will be able to sleep at night. 3. Choose to break a bad habit. Take the biggie first. Tackle it head on. If you don’t know what it is, ask a friend. Then spend every effort you can to break that habit. Forget about the others, as you will get to them later. Stop smoking, get out of debt, lose your excess weight. Exercise the power to choose! 4. Choose to work smarter. Many people I work with feel like they are out of balance. One of the first things I do is try to find out how much time they are wasting at work, which makes them work longer, which throws the rest of their life into chaos. Getting your work done by diligently working in the time you have will free your life up extraordinarily. 5. Choose to see your work as a way to help others, and not a way to make money. If you put your heart into helping others, the money will most assuredly come. Spend time helping others grow and your finances will grow with it. 6. Choose to become balanced spiritually, emotionally and physically. Our lives are best when we have these three major areas in balance. Spend some time cultivating your spirituality, becoming emotionally healthy, and physically fit. 7. Choose to sow more than you reap. There are many takers in this world, but our lives will be better as we become givers. The world will become better as we become givers. Give away your time, give away your money, give away your love. 8. Choose to get home for dinner more often. The family is the most important group of people you will ever belong to. Make a decision today to grow in your relationship with your parents, siblings, spouse and children. This one choice you will never regret. One of my favorite quotes: “The history of free men is never written by chance, but by choice; their choice.” —Dwight D. Eisenhower —Chris Widener Leaders, whether in the family, in business, in government, or in education, must not allow themselves to mistake intentions for accomplishments. Managers help people to see themselves as they are. Leaders help people to see themselves better than they are. Leaders must not be naive. I used to say, “Liars shouldn’t lie.” What a sad waste of words that is! I found out liars are supposed to lie. That’s why we call them liars—they lie! What else would you expect them to do? We must learn to help those who deserve it, not just those who need it. Life responds to deserve, not need. My mentor said, “Let’s go do it,” not “You go do it.” How powerful when someone says, “Let’s”! Leaders must understand that some people will inevitably sell out to the evil side. Don’t waste your time wondering why; spend your time discovering who. When dealing with people, I generally take the obvious approach. When someone says, “This always happens to me and that always happens to me. Why do these things always happen to me?” I simply say, “Beats me. I don’t know. All I know is that those kinds of things seem to happen to people like you.” We could all use a little coaching. When you’re playing the game, it’s hard to think of everything. A good objective of leadership is to help those who are doing poorly to do well and to help those who are doing well to do even better. As a leader you should always start with where people are before you try to take them to where you want them to go. Jim Rohn October 21, 2009 If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manager, as a parent. What’s important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here are some specifics: Learn to be strong but not impolite. It is an extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It’s not even a good substitute. Next, learn to be kind but not weak. We must not mistake weakness for kindness. Kindness isn’t weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell someone the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion. Next, learn to be bold but not a bully. It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you’ve got to walk in front of your group. You’ve got to be willing to take the first arrow, tackle the first problem, discover the first sign of trouble. Like the farmer, if you want any rewards at harvest time, you have got to be bold and face the weeds and the rain and the bugs straight on. You’ve got to seize the moment. Here’s the next step. You’ve got to learn to be humble but not timid. You can’t get to the high life by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. But humility is a virtue; timidity is a disease. It’s an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem. Humility is almost a God-like word. A sense of awe. A sense of wonder. An awareness of the human soul and spirit. An understanding that there is something unique about the human drama versus the rest of life. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we’re part of the stars. Here’s a good tip: Learn to be proud but not arrogant. It takes pride to build your ambitions. It takes pride in your community. It takes pride in a cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming a good leader is to be proud without being arrogant. Do you know the worst kind of arrogance? Arrogance from ignorance. It’s intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we can tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that’s just too much to take. The next step is learning to develop humor without folly. In leadership, we learn that it’s okay to be witty but not silly; fun but not foolish. Next, deal in realities. Deal in truth. Save yourself the agony of delusion. Just accept life as it is. Life is unique. The whole drama of life is unique. It’s fascinating. Life is unique. Leadership is unique. The skills that work well for one leader may not work at all for another. However, the fundamental skills of leadership can be adopted to work well for just about everyone: at work, in the community and at home. To Your Success, Reprinted with permission from TheJim Rohn Ezine October 22, 2009 I have been giving some thought lately to optimism and pessimism. Basically, these are attitudes—attitudes that shape and formulate our entire existence. I mean, have you ever met a happy pessimist? Of course not. In short, our optimism or pessimism is this: The way we interpret the past Have you given much thought about how your attitude, whether you are an optimist or a pessimist, affects you business, organization or school? Have you thought about how it affects you personally? And what about the team you are a part of? What is optimism? It is the belief that things in our past were good for us, even if that means they were hard and taught us lessons. It is also the belief that things will be better in the future. Here are some contrasts between optimism and pessimism and how they affect us: Optimism breathes life into you each day. Optimism helps you to take needed risks. Optimism improves those around you. Optimism inspires people to great heights. There is only one way that optimism and pessimism are the same, and that is that they are both self-fulfilling. If you are an optimist, you will generally find that good things happen to you. And if you are a pessimist, you will find yourself in the not-so-good situations more often than not. So can a person just become an optimist? Yes! We can choose to look at the world any way we want to. We can choose to look at the world and think the worst, or we can tell ourselves the good things about each situation. As you find yourself looking at your enterprise, begin to view it through the eyes of an optimist, and you will reap the rewards listed above, and so will the people around you. There are tremendous benefits to being an optimist, as stated above. But there are some pessimists out there who will say, “But that isn’t realistic.” I say, “Who cares?” If things go awry, at least I have spent my time beforehand enjoying life and not worrying about it. And, being an optimist, I would view the “negative” situation as an opportunity to grow and learn. So I can even look forward to my failures because they will be steppingstones and learning tools to be applied to my future success. Have you ever met a successful pessimist? Become an optimist, and see your world change before your eyes! —Chris Widener Reprinted with permission from The Ron White Ezine October 23, 2009 I love baseball. I love going to a game alone, with friends or watching it on TV. I can talk baseball for hours, and even reading about it is interesting for me. Therefore, it should be no surprise that I’ve played on a softball team. I am a decent fielder; however, I take tremendous pride in my hitting. One season, there was only one at-bat that I did not get on base. In other words, I either received a walk or made a hit 29 out of 30 at-bats. At the risk of sounding boastful, that is an extremely impressive statistic! However, as sometimes occurs in every aspect of life, I went into a slump the very next season. During this season, I went six consecutive at-bats without a hit or a walk. I even struck out once swinging! It was very frustrating for me. I quickly became the worst hitter on the team. I was embarrassed and didn’t know what to do, and then I remembered Ernie Banks.... Ernie played baseball in the 1950s, and he lightened his bat by 3 ounces. He went from hitting 19 home runs to 45 home runs—all because of 3 ounces! So I took a cue from Ernie Banks and I lightened my bat by 3 ounces. It was amazing! I began clobbering the ball all over the field. I finished the season on a hitting tear. How much is 3 ounces? Very little—but also a lot. Is your life in a slump? If it is, my guess is that you don’t need a major overhaul. Ninety-five percent of the time, dramatic changes can be seen with just minor tweaking. The difference between $50,000 and $500,000 a year may be the result of minor improvements. If you are not getting your desired result, ask yourself, “Is there Sometimes a small change is all that it takes. You may be surprised how much 3 ounces is! —Ron White Reprinted with permission fromThe Ron White Ezine October 24, 2009 In 1644, a child was born. He lived to be 93 at a time in history when the average life span was but 35 to 40. He taught himself his trade and began his career. He often worked alone with primitive tools, but his focus every day was to put the best he had into his work. The man made violins. He labored over each and every process and step to ensure that he had “autographed” them with excellence and the best that was in him. He created his own personal standard of excellence for his craft, and he actually signed his name on each instrument that passed the test. Today, some three hundred years later, the name of this craftsman who was committed to excellence is the benchmark for the best in musical instruments. His name? Antonio Stradivari! His Stradivarius violins sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars because they are the best. When Stradivari labored, he did not know of the legacy he was creating. He was doing his best, day in and day out, to reach his standard of excellence. He didn’t spend the extra time and care to get the accolades of upper management or to be the top producer in the company. He did it because excellence was part of his focus, mission, and obsession. It is easy to do world-class work when a boss is looking or a supervisor is around. But the test is in what you do when no one is looking. High achievers have developed the ability to stay focused when no one else is around. Does your quality or performance fluctuate based on who is in the office or which customer you are serving? Excellence is not something that you can just turn on and off whenever you feel you need it. It is a habit rooted in your attitude about your life and career. Are you just going through the motions day to day, or are you creating a masterpiece? Autographs are valuable because they are rare and are tied to excellent performance. In today’s world, superior effort and service are becoming endangered species. Is the autograph you place on your work and service each day a Stradivarius or a Michael Jordan? Or is it unknown, with little value? Autograph your career and your life with excellence. Having a firm commitment to excellence, like Stradivari, has an amazing effect on your achievement motivation. When people who are simply going through the motions or who are just working for a paycheck hit a challenge or obstacle, they often run to their boss and get him or her to do it, or they procrastinate by getting a cup of coffee or shuffling the papers on their desk. On the other hand, when individuals who are committed to excellence hit a similar challenge, they immediately bounce back with energy, and they are actually exhilarated by the chance to stretch themselves to overcome the problem. A commitment to excellence will create focus, and focus will assist you in maintaining your positive motivation and in creating a balanced life. So, start today and autograph your work with excellence! —Denis Waitley Reprinted with permission from The Jim Rohn Ezine October 25, 2009 It’s best to start the discipline of generosity when the amounts are small. It’s easy to give ten cents out of a dollar; it’s a little harder to give a hundred thousand out of a million. Giving is better than receiving because giving starts the receiving process. Nothing teaches character better than generosity. Here’s what is exciting about sharing ideas with others: If you share a new idea with ten people, they get to hear it once and you get to hear it ten times. Sharing makes you bigger than you are. The more you pour out, the more life will be able to pour in. Somebody says, “Well, I can’t be concerned about other people. About the best I can do is to take care of myself.” Well, then you will always be poor. What you give becomes an investment that will return to you multiplied at some point in the future. When somebody shares, everybody wins. The amount you give isn’t important. What matters is what that amount represents in terms of your life. Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have. Reprinted with permission from The Jim Rohn Ezine October 26, 2009 “A Person is the causer (though nearly always unconsciously) of his circumstances, and that, whilst aiming at the good end, he is continually frustrating its accomplishment by encouraging thoughts and desires which cannot possibly harmonize with that end.” —As a Man Thinketh One of the examples James Allen uses to support this philosophy is a rich man who is the victim of a painful and persistent disease as the result of gluttony. He’s willing to give large sums of money to get rid of the disease and he fully expects that will be the cure. Unfortunately, he never addresses the gluttonous desire that is the cause of his condition. He can never achieve good health because his desires are not in harmony with the good health he seeks, regardless of the money he spends. Wow, did I relate to the rich man. Not because of his money, but because of his attitude. There’s been so many times in my life that I said I wanted to get rid of negative circumstances, all the while I’m engaging in the actions (brought on by my thoughts) that could never possibly harmonize with the results I said I wanted. Once I remember a big commitment and resolution on my part to spend more time with my family. I optimistically laid out a calendar of activities we would do together and got very excited about the “new me.” The way I had it figured, I’d probably be “father of the year.” Well, I’m glad they didn’t publish the results of the “competition” that year, I’m sure I would have finished dead last. You see, despite my “aiming at the good end,” I hadn’t changed the thought patterns that had plagued me for years. Any type of crisis in my business was a justifiable reason for me to work late or to go in on the weekends. While my mouth said that my family was more important, my actions (and thoughts) said otherwise. James Allen wants us to understand that we cannot change our circumstances without first changing our thoughts to harmonize with the circumstances we want. To think otherwise is just as foolish as the gluttonous rich man. One of my great enlightenments came from Wayne Dyer’s You’ll See It When You Believe It. He wrote, “Work each day on your thoughts rather than concentrating on your behavior. It is your thinking that creates the feelings you have and ultimately your actions as well.” And that’s worth thinking about. —Vic Johnson Reprinted with permission from The Chris Widener Ezine October 27, 2009 The first thing that an aspiring leader must realize is that they must be inspiring! That is, they must be capable of inspiring people on to greater things than if the leader were not in their lives. So, is this too grandiose an ideal for the average local business owner? Absolutely not. The people who work at your business, school or organization need to be inspired by you on a regular basis. It is what keeps them from giving up. Remind them of the big picture. They aren’t just serving food; they are helping families spend time together, so make it enjoyable. They aren’t just changing oil; they are helping make sure a woman and her children don’t break down on the side of the road at night. They aren’t just teaching reading; they are helping open a mind to the mysteries of the world. They aren’t just selling gifts; they are helping people show their appreciation to others in a tangible way. This week: INSPIRE! —Chris Widener Reprinted with permission from The Chris Widener Ezine October 28, 2009 All of these surface fears fall into two categories, which are the core fears: Fear of Failure and Fear of Success. If you experience fear of commitment, responsibility, growing up, or change, your core fear is the fear of success. If most of your anxiety comes from fear of rejection, confrontation, or not measuring up, your core fear is the fear of failure. Let’s talk today about the fear of failure. The fear of failing is more common to the person who experiences anxiety from confrontation, rejection, or a feeling of not measuring up (the perfectionist). Your fear of failure has held you back. I see it in the new consultant who will not give a class or an opportunity meeting until they can be sure it will be perfect. So they read and reread their training manual to exhaustion. The reality is there is no better training than real-world, in-the-trenches experience! Failure is part of your journey of success. Psychologists tell us that if a child has not had a serious fall within the first year of life, they are being too closely guarded (smothered). It’s the same with your life. Is your life too closely guarded? Are you being smothered in safety? Do you allow yourself to risk? Give yourself permission to make a big mistake! Every successful life is sprinkled with failure. It means you’re growing! Failure is a part of success. When you change your beliefs about failure—and what it’s about—you’ll silence your fears. Failures are stepping stones taking you closer to success. Give yourself permission to risk, try something new, make a mistake, and live a bold, imaginative, daring life! —Lisa Jimenez, M. Ed. Reprinted with permission from Your Achievement Ezine Ovtober 29, 2009 The worst beliefs you can have are “self-limiting beliefs.” These exist whenever you believe yourself to be limited in some way. For example, you may think yourself to be less talented or capable than others. You may think that others are superior to you in some way. You may have fallen into the common trap of selling yourself short and settling for far less than you are truly capable of. These self-limiting beliefs act like brakes on your potential. They hold you back. They generate the two greatest enemies of personal success—doubt and fear. They paralyze you and cause you to hesitate to take the intelligent risks that are necessary for you to fulfill your true potential. For you to progress, to move onward and upward in your life and your business, you must continually challenge your self-limiting beliefs. You must reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. You must accept as a basic principle that you are a “no-limit” person, and that what others have done, you can do as well. When I was a young man, coming from a difficult upbringing, I fell into the mental trap of concluding that because other people were doing better than I was, they must be better or smarter than I was. I accidentally concluded that they were worth more than I was. I must therefore be worth less. This false belief held me back for years. The fact is that no one is better than you are and no one is smarter than you are. If they are doing better, it is largely because they have developed their natural talents and abilities more than you have. They have learned the laws of cause and effect that apply to their lives and work before you have. And anything anyone else has done, within reason, you can probably do as well. You just need to learn how. Reprinted with permission from Your Achievement Ezine October 30, 2009 One of the difficulties we face in our industrialized age is the fact we’ve lost our sense of seasons. Unlike the farmer whose priorities change with the seasons, we have become impervious to the natural rhythm of life. As a result, we have our priorities out of balance. Let me illustrate what I mean: For a farmer, springtime is his most active time. It’s then when he must work around the clock, up before the sun and still toiling at the stroke of midnight. He must keep his equipment running at full capacity because he has but a small window of time for the planting of his crop. Eventually winter comes, when there is less for him to do to keep him busy. There is a lesson here. Learn to use the seasons of life. Decide when to pour it on and when to ease back, when to take advantage and when to let things ride. It’s easy to keep going from nine to five year in and year out and lose a natural sense of priorities and cycles. Don’t let one year blend into another in a seemingly endless parade of tasks and responsibilities. Keep your eye on your own seasons, lest you lose sight of value and substance. To Your Success, October 31, 2009 When you seek support and feedback, be sure it is from people who are truly interested in seeing you succeed. Don’t seek feedback from fair-weather friends, competitive peers or any person who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Neutral doesn’t count. Get feedback from someone who is on your side but will still be objective and brutally honest with you. Misery truly does love company, and jealousy creates some of the most miserable people. Surpass the achievements of your particular social crowd or your business colleagues, and look out for the slings and arrows of those who wish you were back where they are. You have to dodge the snide remarks and catty comments. Let them roll right off you. Don’t internalize them. Only pay attention to feedback from those who have similar goals or who are working actively alongside you to achieve goals of their own. Motives and fears run deep. Study them in others. The manager who supports you and comforts you when you’re down may like you best when you are in just that state: down and dependent. When you start succeeding beyond his expectations and comfort level, he may be among the first to get you to back off, limit your horizons and lower your goals. Recognize this feedback for the insecurity it is. It will rarely be objective or well-intentioned. Even parents and significant family members aren’t immune to emotional conflicts that can pollute their feedback. Many relatives and siblings have difficulty accepting the success of others in the family or encouraging further success. Ultimately, nobody is responsible for your life but you. Nobody is accountable for your actions but you. Therefore, nobody’s expectations for you and opinions about you are as important as your own. So make sure your opinions take precedence in your mind over all others, and when you do need to consult with someone else, think very carefully before you choose exactly who. —Denis Waitley
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